I live in the wrong place. I feel like a spy behind enemy lines and I hope that no one notices when I'm out in public lest they turn and point at me and start screeching. You see, I'm a fairly liberal democratic atheist and I live in Muskogee, Oklahoma. For those of you not "from around here" allow me to explain.
When you meet someone for the first time they ask not "How are you today?" or "How are you feeling?" but more often they ask "What Church do you go to?" and on one occasion "So, were you raised in the Church?". Fortunately we're friends with a pretty hip
Reverend at a church here and I do sometimes attend to make the wife and mother-in-law happy so I have some level of plausible deniability about my church attendance.
The other thing that has me worried recently is related to Oklahoma state representative Sally Kerns' most recent paranoid speeches against the "homosexual agenda" (whatever that is). The thing that really scares me about the whole situation is not that a federally elected representative could think some of the things that she does (like that early childhood education is a tool for the homosexuals to indoctrinate our children) and its not that she hasn't been called on to resign for practicing paranoid hate speech hidden behind a shield of religion. No, what really scares me is the fact that the majority of people in this state seem to agree with her from the polls that I find. I think that there's the distinct possibility that she really is a good representative of the people of Oklahoma. When driving home from work last week I passed a car parked outside of the liquor store in our neighborhood and written in soap on the rear window instead of "Go Roughers!" it said, "Amen Sally Kern".
Please send help.
Of course, there's also the possibility that along with some other infamous outspoken Republicans against homosexuality that she is as gay as drag queen bingo during pride week.
